Some words are better left unspoken...

ducksaysspooky:

"You’re a girl so act like one". Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize my vagina came with a terms and conditions manual.

I’m sorry but it confuses me why everyone freaks out about diamond rings

castielangelofthetrenchcoats:

sakibatch:

seath64:

This is a Diamond engagement ring (kinda obvious)
image

And this is an Opal engagement ring.
image

Just my opinion but why isn’t opal a giant thing :? You also get crazy variations like the Lightning Ridge Black Opal….

image

Dragons Breath Fire Opal…..
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Even this fucking Harlequin Opal that looks like a rainbow on LSD
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…JUST… OPALS MAN

FUCK DIAMONDS

PROPOSE TO ME WITH OPAL SHIT

EXACTLY

Sassy Disney mom alert!

sarah-the-artiste:

mrsmarymorstan:

i-am-mishafuckingcollins:

simonsayspegg:

unelanabolvangar:

can we just agree that hermione doesn’t give two shits about throwing rocks in the water. she knows exactly what she’s doing bless her

nO BUT
FLICK
HE LITERALLY JUST TAUGHT HER WHAT SHE TAUGHT HIM IN THE FIRST BOOK
YO
SWISH AND FLICK
THIS IS THE CUTEST THING

[SCREAMS OUT LOUD]

 (via Saffythegeek)

OH MY GOD

reichenbackdatassup:

wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

fit-state-of-mind:

me flirting 

fit-state-of-mind:

me flirting 

houseofhannibal:

houseofhannibal:

houseofhannibal:

houseofhannibal:

The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best

"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"

"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."

he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself

itsraininbritishmen:

jokesmymomwouldlike:

are you ever just like “lol white people” but then you’re like “wait i am a white people”

a white people